Part 2: Religious and racial diversities: The muslim attitude

1. Love, hate and justice

A few months ago i had a patient admitted for uncontrolled diabetes. He was not compliant to diet restriction and medications, and already developed neuropathies and multiple itchy skin lesions. We wanted to start him on Insulin, but somehow he was a slow learner, it was too difficult for him to learn to use the pen and getting the units right. Despite a few days of teaching, he simply didn't get it. And every time we saw him, there were always sugary food on the table. And when we asked him to open the locker, it's even more. He just would not listen. The HPCs were horrible, and we could not discharge him. Until that day when he lost hope and was unmotivated to learn the injections, he asked us to kill him.
"Doktor bunuh saya saja, nanti saya mati juga, sama saja"
"Tak boleh macam itu pakcik,kami mahu tolong kamu, bukan bunuh kamu," my chinese specialist said.
"Tuhan Allah buat saya macam ini, baik saya mati saja"
I felt like i had an electric shock when he said that. We just kept quiet, unsure of what we were supposed to say. Let the specialist handle.
"Jangan macam itu, Tuhan tak bagi kita putus asa pakcik" He kept persuading him,and the man kept answering him, wanting to die. Finally he stopped, when that poor old man cried.
"What is his name?"
"Regie, an iban"
"Somebody needs to talk to him again later"
Then my specialist turned to me.
"Give him religious counselling."
"Is he a muslim?" i asked.
"I dont know"
Then my team went off, leaving me with the man.I was not sure how was i going to council him. My guts was telling me he's not a muslim.
"Pak cik Islam ke Kristian?"
"Kristian"

And i councilled him. Somehow i didnt use the word Allah. I just used God. And that experience left me feeling awkward. For the first time i was giving 'tazkirah' to a Christian - not to lose hope in life, that God loves us. And I simply didn't know how to tell him about Islam when he didn't mention Jesus, but Allah. And that was the time when people in Semenanjung were making a big fuss about Allah's name, but here there's no problem at all, they have been using it for a long time. Nobody burned the churches, nobody threw any pig head in the mosque.
But, i can see the consequence. Maybe i'll talk about it later.

From that time onwards, and as i encountered other situations of religious tolerance, i felt that my heart became less sensitive, less ghirah, more tolerant. Liberal? Hope not.

To hate and at the the same time being kind and just: I find this very difficult. And to be honest, initially i find this confusing, as there are verses of the quran and ahadith which do not favour this relationship, such as:

"Indeed there has been an excellent example for you (muslims) in Ibrahim and those with him, when they said to their people: "Verily we are free from you.. and whatever you worship besides Allah: we rejected you, and there has started between us and you, hostility and hatred forever until you believe in Allah alone [60:4]"

“You shall not find any people who believe in Allah and the Last Day, loving those who resist Allah and His Messenger, even though they were their fathers or their sons, or their brothers, or their kindred.” (Surah al-Mujadala, 5: 22)

But as i delve into this matter, i agree with the opinion that there are stages regarding the relationship with non-muslims:

1 ) Muwalat or Mawadda: This means to have close and intimate relationship and deep love and affection from one’s heart.

This kind of relationship is reserved only for Muslims; hence it will not be permitted for a Muslim to have this type of friendship with non-Muslims. The verses of the Qur’an prohibiting Muslims from having intimate and close friendship with non-Muslims, especially the first verse of Surah al-Mumtahina, is regarding this kind of relationship.

2) Mudarat: This means to express friendship and love only outwardly without having love for them and their beliefs internally. It is a mere outward expression of the first stage (muwalat), hence it entails being pleasant, friendly, polite and kind towards non-Muslims. It involves expressing good manners, courtesy and good behaviour towards fellow human beings.

This kind of relationship with non-Muslims is permitted, as it is reserved for all human beings, whether Muslim or non-Muslim. This becomes even more important when the objective is to safeguard one’s self from potential harm, invite them towards Islam or when they are one’s guests. The verse of the Qur’an where Allah says “except by way of precaution that you may guard yourselves from them” refers to this type of relationship. However, if one fears corrupting his religious values, then this type of friendship will not be permitted with non-Muslims.

3) Muwasat: This means to help, assist and benefit non-Muslims. It includes charitable help and support, condolences and consolations, and removing harm, such as giving water to a thirsty non-Muslim or food to someone who is hungry.

This is also permitted with all types of non-Muslims except those who are directly at war with Muslims. The verse of the Qur’an where Allah Most High says: “Allah forbids you not, with regards to those who fight you not for (your) Faith nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: for Allah loves those who are just” refers to this kind of relationship with non-Muslims.

4) Mu’amalat: This means to deal, transact and trade with non-Muslims. This is also permitted with all non-Muslims except when it is harmful to Islam and Muslims in general. (Culled from: Ahkam al-Qur’an, al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, Ma’arif al-Qur’an, 2/50-51, Jawahir al-Fiqh, 179-193 and Ifadat Ashrafiyya, P: 11)


We have to make this clear and know where our boundries are,being moderate, and not to fall in either extremes:

Some become quite extreme in their treatment of non-Muslims, in that they consider all kind of contact with non-Muslims to be sinful. They are quite aggressive in their approach towards non-Muslims and also consider Muslims who have any sort of relationship with non-Muslims to be sinful.

This approach is incorrect, as we can see quite clearly from the verses of the Qur’an provided above and from the practice of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) and his noble Companions (Allah be pleased with them all).

On the other hand, some Muslims become so close and intimate with non-Muslims to the point that there remains no difference between belief and disbelief. The Qur’an in many verses prohibited us from loving non-Muslims in our hearts; hence it will not be permitted to love them and their beliefs from one’s heart. Yet, some Muslims sit, eat, live and mingle with non-Muslims as though it does not matter whether one believes or otherwise. This is the other extremism which must also be avoided. A Muslim’s life has a purpose which is to live a life that is in accordance with the commands of Allah Almighty and his beloved Messenger (Allah bless him & give him peace), hence true love can only be for those who share the same purpose and not for those who reject this basic purpose of life.

tbc insyaAllah
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Religious and racial diversities: The painful truth

P/S: I'm not a racist or extremist.
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“The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are.” – Samuel Johnson

True.

Before this i was always in the majority group. U know what i mean. My childhood and teenage time was spent mostly with the malays and muslims.Yes i did have non muslim friends now and then. But somehow our friendship did not last long. I am more comfortable with my buddies of 'my own kind', because we share the common values and interests, we perform the same religious rituals, and attend the same religious circles and classes.

And now in Kuching, most of my colleagues are non muslims. In each department i go, we can count the number of muslim HOs with our fingers. There was 1 time during HO teaching, i realized that out of the 30+ HOs, only 2 people are muslims, me and shaz.

Being the minority for the first time, initially it was quite hard for me to adjust. But as the time goes, i start to see things in a different way, and I enjoy the relationship that i have with my non-muslim colleagues. I found out that religious negotiations can be done and achieved, taboos can become non taboos, if we do it in a proper and professional way. I think all these religious and racial tensions happening around us are actually unnecessary. What we need is more dialogue, respect, tolerance, patience and professionalism.

The reality is, we co-exist. And things need to be changed to make the world a better place. Humanism and liberalism - now i understand why these dogmas emerged.
Do i sound like a liberalist? Hehe.

Actually, I'm challenging my thoughts.
I'm trying to rationalize the principles i used to uphold all these while and trying to get the facts straight. This is crucial, so that i have the correct understanding and my aqidah is sound. Because i do notice the changes in my thoughts, and i dont know whether it is right or wrong. Life is too complex and its realities are both bitter and sweet. And this is the painful part.

1. Love, hate and justice

If they associate others in worship with Him, or disbelieve in Him, or worship others alongside Him, or are hostile towards His religion and hate the truth, then it is obligatory to hate them in our hearts. Hating them in our hearts does not mean that we should oppress or mistreat them under any circumstances, because Allaah said to His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), describing what his attitude should be towards the People of the Book:
“and I am commanded to do justice among you. Allaah is our Lord and your Lord. For us our deeds and for you your deeds”
[al-Shoora 42:15]

it is permissible for a Muslim to treat kindly those non-Muslims who are not hostile, whether by offering financial help, feeding the hungry, giving them loans if needed or interceding with regard to permissible matters, or speaking kindly to them or returning their greetings, and so on. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Allaah does not forbid you to deal justly and kindly with those who fought not against you on account of religion nor drove you out of your homes. Verily, Allaah loves those who deal with equity”
[al-Mumtahanah 60:8]

To hate and at the the same time being kind and just: I find this very difficult.

To be continued..
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The forgotten child

Assalamualaikum.

Paediatrics.

i had 2 patients who made me realize that humans can turn to be horrible monsters.
1. Child rape
2. Non accidental injury

unfortunately these innocent children happened to be with undiagnosed psychopaths running free.
i wonder how will they grow up with such traumatic lives 
What kind of person will they be like, when their rights, safety and trust are betrayed by evil men.
it's sickening.
too painful to imagine.

Prophet Muhammad s.a.w said:

“Fear Allah and treat your children [small or grown] fairly (with equal justice).”(Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Have mercy. Have mercy.

In one hadith Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated:
I went along with Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) at a time during the day but he did not talk to me and I did not talk to him until he reached the market of Banu Qainuqa`. He came back to the tent of Fatimah and said, “Is the little chap (meaning Al-Hasan) there?” We were under the impression that his mother had detained him in order to bathe him and dress him and garland him with sweet garland. Not much time had passed that he (Al-Hasan) came running until both of them embraced each other, thereupon Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “O Allah, I love him; love him and love one who loves him.” (Muslim)

Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him),said:

I never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). His son Ibrahim was in the care of a wet nurse in the hills around Madinah. He would go there, and we would go with him, and he would enter the house, pick up his son and kiss him, then come back. (Muslim)

Usamah ibn Zaid (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
Allah’s Messenger used to put me on (one of) his thighs and put Al-Hasan ibn `Ali on his other thigh, and then embrace us and say, “O Allah! Please be merciful to them, as I am merciful to them.” (Bukhari)

Allah’s Messenger kissed Al-Hasan ibn `Ali while Al-aqra` ibn Habis At-Tamim was sitting with him . Al-Aqra` said, “I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.” The Prophet cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” (Al-Bukhari)

Narrated Abu Qatadah: “The Messenger of Allah came towards us while carrying Umamah the daughter of Abi Al-`As (Prophet’s granddaughter) over his shoulder. He prayed, and when he wanted to bow, he put her down, and when he stood up he lifted her up.” (Al-Bukhari)

Narrated Umm Khalid: I (the daughter of Khalid ibn Said) went to Allah’s Messenger with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt. Allah’s Messenger said, “Sanah, Sanah!” (`Abdullah, the narrator, said that sanah meant “good” in the Ethiopian language). I then started playing with the seal of prophethood (between the Prophet’s shoulders) and my father rebuked me harshly for that. Allah’s Messenger said, “Leave her.” The Prophet, then, invoked Allah to grant her a long life thrice. (Al-Bukhari)

So start being human, and tear off the monstrosity of yours.
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